I did a lecture at Becker College on Tuesday night on “The Golden Rules of Negotiating with Your Boss, Co-Workers and Family.” This is one of my favorite subjects to talk about, because most people don’t realize that the outcome of a negotiation can be impacted more by what they do before the conversation than during the conversation itself! Also, many of us enter a negotiation with the goal of getting what we want and do not think ahead about how the outcome could be a win for all the parties involved.

In my “Eight Golden Rules for Negotiating,” preparation is a dominant theme. First among those eight rules is do your research. You want to make sure you fully know and understand the audience with whom you are negotiating and also the environment in which the conversation is taking place. Another thing to do before the negotiation is think about and know your objective. It should be crystal clear to you.

One task that’s critical to your preparation before a negotiation is to know your “game plan” — how you will start the conversation and conduct the interaction. The first two minutes are most important — they are “the golden 120 seconds” — and the point in your interaction in which you will set the stage and tone for how the negotiation will go. You will want to not only plan what you want to say, but rehearse it several times and even role play with others.

Another preparatory step you want to take — and this is probably the most important — is to think about and write down what’s in it for the person you are negotiating with. Even though you are clearly focused on achieving an objective to obtain something for yourself, you don’t have to be the only one gaining here. Think about what winning the negotiation will potentially mean for that person, what it will bring them and/or how it will affect them. Then ask yourself if there’s anything you need to do to ensure the outcome is positive for them too. By doing that — as well as taking the other steps — you can be assured that what you’re negotiating for will result in not only a win for you, but a win for everyone.